"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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