Im at strip club and am horny
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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