My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
