Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Randomize
