i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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