never play flip cup with pint glasses
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
