I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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