you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
