Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways