did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
How's work?
Spinning.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
