I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?