come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
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Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
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Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?