Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?

  (541): View more from Oregon

  It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.

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  (509): My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that? (541): It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you. http://tfl.nu/ntpo
  Replies (15) Good night (957) Bad night (2573)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for

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  (405): Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for http://tfl.nu/gqdd
  Replies (15) Good night (1409) Bad night (3625)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.

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  (678): Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed. http://tfl.nu/4nvh
  Replies (12) Good night (681) Bad night (4543)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.

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  (541): I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR. http://tfl.nu/y3sk
  Replies (48) Good night (3448) Bad night (913)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians

  (503): View more from Oregon

  How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?

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  (206): I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians (503): How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often? http://tfl.nu/gll8
  Replies (20) Good night (5362) Bad night (1248)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT

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  (717): do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT http://tfl.nu/ci1u
  Replies (17) Good night (5898) Bad night (1347)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of

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  (248): He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of http://tfl.nu/1krw
  Replies (10) Good night (3706) Bad night (1050)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me

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  (651): I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me http://tfl.nu/y5sm
  Replies (7) Good night (1330) Bad night (1649)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.

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  (317): I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30. http://tfl.nu/4yw7
  Replies (8) Good night (2658) Bad night (891)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.

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  (917): After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment. http://tfl.nu/hjie
  Replies (7) Good night (872) Bad night (1672)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner

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  (954): and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner http://tfl.nu/ab93
  Replies (15) Good night (1452) Bad night (1012)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..

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  (425): I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt.. http://tfl.nu/0vvh
  Replies (6) Good night (1017) Bad night (385)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday

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  (402): Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday http://tfl.nu/hnnk
  Replies (0) Good night (401) Bad night (491)
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  (914): View more from New York

  So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED

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  (914): So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED http://tfl.nu/nbqu
  Replies (5) Good night (462) Bad night (497)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already

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  (703): I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already http://tfl.nu/u5c8
  Replies (4) Good night (470) Bad night (682)

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