My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
