I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
