Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
