Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
4 words: hood of his car
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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