can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
