so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
