Grow some girl-balls and come out already
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
