My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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