carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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