:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
