just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
