he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
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she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
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Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So much rum. So many feels.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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