whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
