just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
