this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
she peed on how many people?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
