I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
