I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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