Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
