Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
only you would photoshop your dick
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
