you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
