you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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