like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
