dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
