i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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