it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
