yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize