guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
