You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
