How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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