i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize