dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
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I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
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Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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