Well douche your snatch and let's go!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
