he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
