I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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