Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub