David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
