ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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