oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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