My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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