Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize