No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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