Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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