i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
