I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize