pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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