Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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