the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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