forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
