we're blogging at a bar
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
